One in Christ

Just after I finished my undergraduate degree, my wife began her master’s program as a Graduate Teaching Assistant. Because of her responsibilities, for the first time in our marriage, I was the primary caretaker of our children and home. Having learned the basics of cooking and cleaning and with ample experience babysitting as a young man, I was qualified and felt ready for the task,

Yet, despite all my preparation and knowledge, I soon found out that being a stay-at-home-dad was hard work. Not long after we made this big transition in our marriage, I found myself unhappy with life. I was short-tempered with my children and my wife was not pleased with how little I did around our home. Overall, she felt I wasn’t supporting her as much as I should. 

I remember praying earnestly to my Father in Heaven one tearful afternoon. I plead for help and strength. All I wanted was to do my part so we could be more united and happy. After my prayer, I had the very distinct impression that I needed to become more patient. I then felt a great sense of realization of how selfish and impatient I had been and made a long-term goal to become perfectly patient. 

Before this spiritual experience and answer to prayer, I considered myself a patient person. I could sit in a doctor’s office and wait for my turn just as well as anyone else, was my naïve thought. Now, I realize patience is more a virtue of overcoming selfishness and pride than it is waiting for something to happen.  Since then I have grown more and more patient every year. However, as with most virtues, I also realize that the more I learn about and gain patience, the more progress I need to make. 

The title of this talk is ‘One in Christ’ and its structure is designed to inspire and motivate all of us to be more united. I do not bring up the concept of patience up front to say that unity always begins with patience. My purpose instead is to point out that each of us have certain tendencies towards pride that keep us from being united with family, friends and associates; mine is impatience but yours may be something completely different. Accepting and having a desire to overcome our individual pride-traps, allows us to turn more readily to the Lord, and in doing so we can come together as individual families, groups of friends, work relationships, communities and so forth. 

Family is the most important unit in the world. Without families, we can’t function properly on any scale between small communities, whole societies and as an entire human race. The basic definition of family consists of a married couple and their children, yet the concept of family is diverse, takes on different meanings to every individual and is defined in many ways depending on the context. 

My absolute favorite line in the lesson manual for full time missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Preach My Gospel, is: “Heaven is the continuation of the ideal home.” When I picture the perfect family unit, I think of this very quote. If the ideal home is heaven on earth, then the ideal family would provide a sense of heavenly peace in a world of turmoil. Being part of a family is more than simply having parents and/or brothers and sisters. It is more about how people get together and function in unity than it is how closely related the individuals in the family are.  

Growing up, I would attend a family Christmas party every year. This was a yearly family reunion where my grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins and immediate family would all meet and celebrate Christ’s birth together. My least favorite part, the part where I didn’t feel welcome but awkward and uncomfortable, was the beginning when we ate dinner “together”. I say “together” loosely because multiple tables would be set up and every immediate family unit would sit at a table, separating themselves physically from other families. I felt there wasn’t much mingling, catching up, hugging or appreciation shown for seeing each other again after many months of being apart.  

On the other hand, my favorite part of these parties was the end. This was when, instead of multiple tables set up, chairs were formed in a big circle and everyone literally sat together, facing one another. Then, Grandpa would read the story of Christ’s birth from the bible and in unison we would sing songs that reminded us of Christ and His birth and life - the whole reason for the season. 

There is a huge difference between how I felt when we were segregated and didn’t interact much verse when we were all together as one. 

Just as with my family Christmas parties, all of us have two options when it comes to any group we find ourselves in. We can either segregate ourselves in many ways – physically, mentally, according to individual families, looks, personalities, how we talk, feel and act etc. – or we can all come together as one.

The goal I mentioned earlier to become more patient has led me to a very specific study of the scriptures where I search for every example of patience I can find. As I have begun doing this, the meaning of one example has become very important and powerful to me. Particularly because of the way Christ uses the word ‘one’.  

John 17:21 – That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.

The above is a line from Christ’s great Intercessory prayer. For years I couldn’t wrap my head around Christ’s statement that He is one with the Father. No matter how I looked at it, it seemed to me that Christ is saying He and the Father are the same person. Yet, from modern day prophets, I have learned that the Godhead is comprised of 3 distinct individuals: God, The Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. 

Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t until I discovered a new way to look at the word ‘beauty’ that I came to understand what Christ means by being one with the Father. Another question I have had for years is how beauty relates to the gospel.  In my mind, the words ‘aesthetic’ and ‘beauty’ were exclusively synonymous. Yet, in my heart I felt the beauty of the gospel and verbally described the gospel as being beautiful, without understanding why the word ‘beauty’ described what I felt. 

Then, I started studying beauty as if it was a gospel principle and asked the Lord how beautiful things can act as a catalyst for bringing people closer to Christ. As I prayed about this question and searched the scriptures for the answer, a new way of understanding beauty formed in my mind: Beauty is visualizing and experiencing the magic of unity. 

Suddenly beauty had less to do with aesthetics for me and much more to do with both unity and the idea of synergy. I have heard synergy described as what happens when a whole is greater than the sum of all its parts. Basically, what the Lord taught me is that when all the parts of a given whole work in unity, synergy takes place. Beauty is beheld when an individual’s eyes and heart are opened and they see the synergy; they see the magic of all the various parts of the whole coming together to be more than they could be on their own – becoming one. 

Being one, as a whole, has nothing to do with being the same individually. When Christ says He and the Father are one, he is saying that together they make one united front without any contention but with perfect purpose and direction. I believe the reason Christ simply states that He and the Father are one, but doesn’t specify that they are two separate beings, is because His focus is on unity and not semantics. 

The scriptures talk about the beauty of synergy that defines unity in this way:

Mosiah 18:21 – And he commanded them that there should be no contention one with another, but that they should look forward with one eye, having one faith and one baptism, having their hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another.

Like Christ, we shouldn’t be focused on metaphorical semantics. In other words, we can’t dwell on everything that makes us different and still be united. Unity comes from accepting differences by following Christs’ example of charity and selflessness. From this perspective, I now realize that every time I do something with a lack of patience, I am subconsciously telling myself that I am more important than others; that I believe my needs and wants should come first. 

This is true for any form of pride. Being impatient with others, looking down on someone in disdain or looking up at someone with contempt, avoiding certain groups of people or choosing not to accept them because of what makes them different from you are all internal decisions to exclude God’s children. Doing so is labeling and judging others and is erroneous self-justification for not inviting an individual to come unto Christ. 

Unity can only happen when we embrace our differences and use them to become one. And, just as we need to be inclusive and one with others, so too must we become one with Christ and His gospel. We can’t pick and choose what gospel principles we are going to live. We are either living the commandments of God or we aren’t. To the Lord, the gospel is one. 

When we have in our hearts a desire to overcome our prideful tendencies, our focus turns from selfishness and pride to selflessness. And the more we turn outward, the more selfless like Christ we become. In this pattern we are strengthening our individual, work and communal families by becoming one in Christ.